Something happened tonight that I want to remember. Tyson may not want to remember but I do.
I left the house at 6:00 tonight for a youth conference planning meeting, after which we went straight into our combined activity at 7:00. The young women and young men went swimming at a member's pool and I didn't get home until 8:45.
When I got home all Tyson said was, "you better go check on your son." I asked why. He told me that Teryn had been crying since I left at 6:00. Not just whimpering. Full-on, insatiable crying.
Sad? Yes. Quite. But it filled a void I've been feeling for the past week or so. I've hit the sick stage of my first trimester and it's landed me on the couch for more time than I'd like. Sometimes Teryn looks at me with this face like, "why do you just lay around all the time now?" I'm not able to get down on the floor and play with him like usual and I've been feeling more and more distanced from him.
After I got home tonight I changed out of my wet clothes and put on my fuzzy bath robe. Leaving the light off, I walked into Teryn's room and shut the door behind me. I could hear he was still awake. I walked toward his crib and reached in where I felt him already sitting up with his arms extended for me to pick him up. I pulled him out and sat in the rocker where he just laid on my shoulder and didn't make a peep. He hasn't cuddled like that with me for months. I hummed "A Child's Prayer" and then just held him for a while. I finally asked, "can you give me kisses?" He pulled his head off my shoulder and gave me a sweet little kiss on my lips and then laid back on my shoulder. I hugged him, told him I loved him, and then laid him back in his crib and gave him his blanket. I walked out the door and he didn't make another sound.
It was just one of those tender moments that I rarely (never) get with him because he is so busy and curious and never stops for one minute. And lately because I've been so sick he has spent a lot more time with Tyson and I've felt like he's becoming a daddy's boy. There's nothing I enjoy seeing more than Tyson and Teryn spending time together, but I'd be lying if I said I don't feel like I'm losing my little boy.
Tonight reminded me that I'm not.
I hear ya. I have felt the same way lately, like Scarlett has no use for me. If she is supper tired then she will snuggle and I love it!
ReplyDeleteAwww sweet. There is still nothing I love more than holding my baby. Fortunately, he's pretty cooperative. There's something about knowing another one's on the way that makes me even more anxious to spend every minute with him.
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