Saturday, November 20, 2010

Day 4

DAY 4: SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE SOMEONE FOR

Among my responses for the 30 Days of Truth, today's will be the most confidential.

Only one unforgiven person comes to mind- -but I don't know if I would consider him/her absolutely unforgiven either. Most days I feel like I've forgiven completely. Time is the best healer. But then there are some days when I think again about the hurt and the loss I've experienced and
I return to anger
.

It's not what this person did, but what this person didn't do that hurts so much. Knowing that this person had such an integral role in depicting such a finite act and knowing that this person chose not to help is what is so
hard to accept
.

This person doesn't know how he/she affected me. This person doesn't know that he/she is the only person I have ever really hated. Though the hate doesn't remain, I can still remember how dark and hollow it felt to
hate so deeply
.

And I don't think those feelings can ever be forgotten.
Forgiven, perhaps- -and I'm trying.
But never forgotten.

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