Cheers To 2013

I realize we're almost through the month of January 2014, but I need to wrap up 2013 sometime.  Better today than tomorrow.

And I'm just going to let it all out.  No worrying about words or flow.  The year 2013 was a life-changing year for me.  (I actually choked up as I typed just that sentence.)  I came to know myself better than I've ever known and in turn I've come to love myself with greater capacity.  And that understanding and love for myself has in turn allowed me to more greatly understand and love those around me. 

(I must start at the beginning. Ask my brother Teryn.  He always got after me for giving a 20 minute introduction for a 2 minute punch line.  But as you'll read, I've come to appreciate that that's just how i am, so that's just what I'm going to do.)

It started when my friend Jean introduced me to Carol Tuttle's Dressing Your Truth (I will refer to it as DYT).  Having tackled college with the intent of graduating in Psychology, I've had my share of lessons in personalities and theories and personality tests.  That kind of stuff gets me ticking- -I really enjoy learning about people.  Carol Tuttle's "personality theory", so to say, is Energy/Beauty Profiling and it is, in my opinion, the best "personality theory" out there. I'll give you a basic rundown with the things I found most important.

Scientifically, the DNA of every living thing in the world is primarily made up of 4 elements; Nitrogen, Oxygen, Hydrogen, and Carbon.  Plants, animals, humans.  Everything living is made up of these 4 elements, but the levels of each element in their composition vary from plant to plant, animal to animal, and human to human.  Carol defines those dominant in Nitrogen as Type 1, Oxygen as Type 2, Hydrogen as Type 3, and Carbon as Type 4.

**A note to throw in because I don't know how else to include it: Society in general accepts the idea of classical elements; Air, Water, Fire, and Earth.  Nitrogen is dominant in Air, Oxygen is dominant in Water, Hydrogen is dominant in Fire, and Carbon is dominant in Earth.  Follow me?**

Here are Carol's brief descriptions of each Type as they apply to women:

• TYPE 1 Beauty: The Bright, Animated Woman (AIR)
  You have a light, upward energy . You brighten a room and easily bring a smile to others. People enjoy the gift of your naturally fun-loving and hopeful nature.

• TYPE 2 Beauty: The Subtle, Soft Woman (WATER)
  You have a calm expressiveness about yourself. People like being around you because you help them slow down and experience peacefulness in life.

• TYPE 3 Beauty: The Rich, Dynamic Woman (FIRE)
  You are naturally dynamic, sure, and purposeful. You have the gift of action, and seek to constantly move those around you forward to a desired outcome.
•   TYPE 4 Beauty: The Bold, Striking Woman (EARTH)
  You are reflective, concise, and clear. You have a natural gift for perfecting things and showing others how something can be made better. You exude an energy that is seen by others as serene.
  
  (Source: http://dressingyourtruth.com/about/beauty-profiling/)

I basically inhaled the book and felt SO LIBERATED!  I am TYPE 3, and just prior to the time I was introduced to DYT, I had experienced a slight case of depression.  I was suppressing my fiery, outspoken, dynamic nature because I decided I didn't want to be so dominating.  Especially for Tyson's sake.  Being TYPE 4, he is so composed, conservative, and serene, and I felt like I was always doing things and saying things that made him uncomfortable or ashamed of me.  The key phrase there is "I felt."  I came to realize that I was the cause of my own depression- -Tyson never asked me to change.  I opened up and talked to him about it and he was sad that I had ever felt that way because he knows who I am- -that's why he married me!  So I was making my way out of that rut when I learned about DYT. 

DYT helped me step back and recognize that what I considered to be my faults are my greatest strengths.  I'm swift, I'm dynamic, I'm driven, I'm active and reactive.  I'm FIRE!  I contribute to the world with my high energy, determination and ever-existent motivation to get things done.  I'm social, I'm involved, I'm talkative.  I'm so many things that are wonderful and beautiful.  Realizing that these traits can be positive was so huge for me.  ("So huge" is an understatement...)

So DYT had me convinced that Carol Tuttle knew what she was talking about.  Especially that she was able to nail not only me on the head but Tyson as well.  Tyson has always felt that Psychology is hogwash.  No one could ever tell him who he is or possibly understand his personality through research!  Well, to keep a hilariously humiliating story short and less than entertaining, DYT nailed him so accurately that he couldn't deny it.  And he hated it, ha ha.  I giggled almost constantly as I read the TYPE 4 chapter out loud to him because I knew it was true and I knew he knew it was true and that it would drive him crazy because it was so true.  He's finally come to terms with it though.  He will tell you, he is TYPE 4. 

That's as far as I took it at that time.  The Dressing Your Truth book is basically bait.  It convinces you that Carol knows what she's talking about and gives you incentive to buy your individual DYT course, complete with color card, style guide, access to all DYT online clothing, hair, and makeup resources, weekly e-mails, monthly classes, etc.etc. The cost online is over $200 and I wasn't sure I could/needed to invest in it so I just settled with the information I had at that point.

Right around that time, apart from my attempt to get out of my personality crisis, I was also getting down on myself as a mother.  I was comparing myself to some of my greatest friends and I was feeling inferior.  After a play date one day, I called my sister-in-law Camille in tears. I expressed how my feelings of inferiority had been building up, that I was comparing the way I raise my kids to the way my friends raise theirs.  She replied with words that I will never forget.  "You need to be so confident with the decisions you make that it doesn't matter what others think."  She was right.

So I stopped focusing so much on others and paid attention to the good things I was doing, the positive things I was contributing to my childrens' lives.  About that same time, another sister-in-law of mine, Xenia, came to town and I got talking to her about DYT.  Our whole family was getting together in the city so while we were out there Xenia and I stopped at the Dressing Your Truth store in Lehi.  I just wanted to take a quick look around and buy my own DYT book and Xenia wanted to buy the book as well.  After talking to a sales associate we learned that the book was $25 or we could buy the course for $99* and the book was included.  The "ready, FIRE, aim" in me came out and I bought my course without question. 

Best.investment.EVER.  Really.  The name "Dressing Your Truth" makes it sound like it's just information on how to dress well.**  Yes, it will teach you how to dress and how to do your hair and makeup, but it is SO MUCH MORE!

Because of DYT, I truly understand myself at a cellular level.  I understand my DNA makeup and the beauty of my creation.  I am who I am, and although I can learn how to channel my personality and tendencies appropriately, I can never change me.  With that understanding, I also realize I can not change any one else.  And why would I want to?  We all contribute to the world in our own ways.  Carol puts this into perspective with an example of trees, keeping in mind the fact that all DNA is made up of the same elements.  A TYPE 2 tree would be a Weeping Willow, gracious and flowing.  A TYPE 4 tree would be a Pine, always the same color, never changing shape or losing its needles.  No one looks at a Pine and thinks, "I wish you acted more like a Weeping Willow."  Another example with birds; a TYPE 3 bird would be a Hawk, swift and dynamic.  A TYPE 4 bird would be a Swan, poised, and steady.  Again, no one looks at a Hawk and thinks, "Gosh, why can't you just be more like a Swan."  (Que "ah ha!" moment) RIGHT!?  We look at nature and appreciate plants and animals for their own beauty and the things they individually contribute.  What would our world be like if we could do the same with people?

I have never been so happy and comfortable in my own skin, nor have I ever understood and appreciated others to the degree that I now do.  I cannot express how fulfilling that is.  I no longer compare myself to other mothers, I realize why I do as I do and they do as they do.  AND my marriage is better than it's ever been!  Tyson and I are very different and now we grasp why and we love each other for it.  AND I understand my children much better too! (Carol has another book called The Child Whisperer that helps you understand what type your children are.  That's a post for another day.) Truly, I am less stressed, less frustrated, less critical, less concerned.  And getting rid of all those emotions has made more room in my heart for greater compassion, patience, gratitude, and love. 

So I owe a great big THANK YOU to my friend Jean (Rachel =0) for, in a sense, liberating me through DYT.  And maybe this post will help some of you understand why you hear me talk about DYT so much ;)

And just in case you're wondering how effective the DYT color cards and style guides really are, I'll have you know that I went clothes shopping a few weeks back and I loved and bought everything I tried on. EVERYTHING. When does that happen!?  I walked through stores, solely looking for things in my colors, textures, and patterns, and everything I picked off the racks looked great on me.  I also have DYT to thank for knowing what to do with my hair when I cut and colored it 6 months ago.  So is the course worth $99?  Well, without it, I would be wasting time looking through, trying on, and eventually spending much more than $99 on articles of clothing that would inevitably end up at the back of my closet, never being worn.  So my opinion is yes.  Absolutely yes.

*The course goes on sale for $99 online every once in a while, but it is always $99 in the store.
**Your energy and movement determines what colors and types of patterns and fabrication each type should wear.  As a T3, I should wear asymmetrical patterns, sharp lines, deep/dynamic textures, medium-heavy weight material, etc.  It's not about skin color, hair color, or body shape, it's about movement.