Quarter

Quarter of a century.  Two and 1/2 decades.  Twenty five years.

I've been in a weird "me" rut lately.  Rut, slump, funk....whatever you want to call it.  I wish I knew where it was coming from so I could pluck it out and burn it.  I hate being cranky, so being cranky makes me more cranky.  I've taken two pregnancy tests in the past month thinking it would be the only way to explain my irritability.  Both tests were negative.

Perhaps it's a 25th year crisis?  

Really, I think being cooped up managing these apartments is finally getting to me.  It's the same thing, day after day, with never a chance to really get out.  Along with that comes a slight sense of loneliness.  I deal just fine with being alone, but there's a fine line between being alone and being lonely.  I think I've crossed that line.  I have many family and friends out there, but I feel detached from the world.  I miss them.  Quite a bit, actually.

So here I've been- -the loneliness setting in deeper and deeper- -getting crankier and crankier.

But in the past week, I have experienced undeniable support and friendship.  I have received unexpected help and love when it was most needed.  I've been reminded that I'm not alone.

• My tenant friends next door in apt. 59 brought me some valentine cupcakes.
• My brother Brandon called just to chat.
• My brother-in-law Brandon and sister-in-law Breanna showed up to help me shovel the 8 inches of snow that a storm brought in.  (8 flights of stair steps, parking lot, and sidewalks/walkways)
• My visiting teachers came and brought me cheesecake.
• My friend Kirsten came and took Teryn for a walk so I could take a nap.  They also stopped at her apartment and made a birthday card for me.
• Breanna shopped for Tyson for my birthday and surprised me with some wonderful gifts.
• My tenant friends in apt. 59 made me a birthday cake and also handmade birthday cards.

These people don't know that they were my saving grace this week.  The past 9 days have been especially difficult since Tyson is unable to help around the house and around the complex.  I needed help......physically and mentally.  These people gave me just what I needed.  They were my ministering angels.  I need to be more like them.

Tyson is, of course, my #1 angel.  Regardless of the bad mood I've been emanating, he is happy and somehow makes me laugh.  He keeps me grounded and reminds me of the many reasons I have to be happy.  I am more-than-grateful for him.  

And Teryn- -the little squirt =0)  His innocence is refreshing.  It doesn't matter what's going on, all is still right in his world.  I'm so grateful he is mine.

I think this birthday was the most memorable birthday I've ever had.  Mostly because of the above-mentioned reasons, but also for other unmentioned reasons.  I always love the morning phone call from my parents when they sing "Happy Birthday" and also the texts and sweet notes from dozens and dozens of friends on Facebook.  Tyson helped me give myself a new birthday haircut.  He also spoiled me and bought all but one thing I had listed on my "wish list".  Breanna burned me a few CDs and gave me a bag full of Jolly Ranchers.  My mom gave me a George Foreman Panini Grill.  I received a few cards and phone calls from other family.  For dinner, I ordered take-out from Costa Vida and also picked up some ice cream at Charlie's.  Tyson and I ate while we watched the original "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory".  Classic, and so hilarious!  It was a very special day for me.  A day that I needed very, very much. 

I hope my "me" rut stays behind with my 24th year.