Day 29: SOMETHING YOU HOPE TO CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF, AND WHY
Something I hope to change about myself. Hmmm.
I don't know whether it's something instilled in me because I'm the youngest of 7 children and the only girl in my family or what, but there is a little piece inside of me somewhere that feels like I'm the best. That my way is the best way. That I can always do something better than the next person. That I can't be happy for someone if they do something better than me. It's HORRIBLE, I know. I'm well aware that it's selfish and prideful. That I feel such things is beyond frustrating. I catch myself with those thoughts and I make a conscious effort to get over them and praise other peoples' achievements. I know that I'm not the best- -that my way is not always the best way- -that I can't always do something better than the next person- -that I can and SHOULD be happy for anyone who does anything better than I do. Making myself feel that way without a fight is the problem. I want it to come naturally. I want to be that person that is always happy for others. I wish I could find that little piece inside of me, pluck it out, and throw it to the wind. I'm working on it.
Something I hope to change about myself. Hmmm.
I don't know whether it's something instilled in me because I'm the youngest of 7 children and the only girl in my family or what, but there is a little piece inside of me somewhere that feels like I'm the best. That my way is the best way. That I can always do something better than the next person. That I can't be happy for someone if they do something better than me. It's HORRIBLE, I know. I'm well aware that it's selfish and prideful. That I feel such things is beyond frustrating. I catch myself with those thoughts and I make a conscious effort to get over them and praise other peoples' achievements. I know that I'm not the best- -that my way is not always the best way- -that I can't always do something better than the next person- -that I can and SHOULD be happy for anyone who does anything better than I do. Making myself feel that way without a fight is the problem. I want it to come naturally. I want to be that person that is always happy for others. I wish I could find that little piece inside of me, pluck it out, and throw it to the wind. I'm working on it.
completely agree with you! that's how i am! i wish i could naturally be like keven...he is always GENUINELY happy for people when good things happen to them, but I sometimes have a tendency to be a little jealous. Every time I read that scripture in Mosiah about "mourning for those that mourn"...I think of it also saying, "being happy for those that are happy." I know it's easier said than done...good to know I am not the only one working on it. I'm a VERY competitive person and I think that has a lot to do with those thoughts too. whenever I'm having a rough time with it, I'll think of you and smile though and maybe that will help me! :)
ReplyDeleteOh Dani... I am right there with you!... and I know my husband would be the first to belt out "THAT IS SO MY WIFE" if he read your post too! Ha ha! Being the youngest (and only girl) I am 100% everything you just said so don't feel like it's just you. I have found, even more so, since I've been married that I am way worse than I thought I was but I am learning to not be so stubborn. I guess it didn't help either that I waited until almost 27 years old to get married!
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